The Way You Make Me Feel
by floweringhelena
Summary: Ken and Minako are best friends, and feel comfortable sharing everything. Everything except the intimate feelings they both hold for one another. Rated T for future chapters!
1. You're Okay The Way You Are

Ken could smell her before she even descended the third floor stairs. It wasn't that she wore too much perfume, he wasn't even sure if she wore any at all, it was just the scent of _her_. It was the scent of his mother baking chocolate chip cookies, the scent of concrete after it's just rained...it was the scent of all the things in life that made Ken glad he was alive, despite everything unhappy around him. She was sugar and rain, warmth and light. Ken didn't feel like a child when he was with her, he felt like a _person._ Like his age didn't matter, because he could say how he felt without being looked down upon. He wasn't stupid, he wasn't immature. He just wanted to be _older, _even if just in appearance . . . so people wouldn't treat him like he was any of those things. But she didn't care. She treated him the way he'd always longed to be treated, and in doing so, she became the only person that could hold Ken together when he felt like tearing himself to pieces.

"M-Minako-san! I thought I heard you...a-are you busy right now?"

She shot Ken her unmistakable smirk, eyes twinkling with laughter. "Not too busy for you, of course!" And there was her joking wink.

Ken's cheeks burned crimson, looking anywhere but at her. Shag carpet wasn't an easy distraction when something as mesmerizing as Minako Arisato stood before you. But it would have to do.

"Well, I was wondering if you'd like to maybe...go somewhere with me? I don't r-really care where! Just...yeah!" He glanced up to notice her staring intently at him with dancing eyes.

"I would love to! Hm, let's see...why don't we go to the park? It's a really nice day out. We could go on the swings!"

Ken's brow furrowed. "The swings? But aren't they for, you know...kids?"

"Swings are for EVERYONE! Fun isn't limited to one age group, dummy!"

She had a knack of reassuring him when he felt like everything he loved only made him seem younger. Swings sounded pretty nice.

"Well then, l-let's go!"

* * *

The sky was a deep shade of grey, no sun peeking out from behind a cloud. The air was crisp and cool, almost relaxing as it hugged Ken and Minako's frames as they walked. Ken watched as she sang quietly under her breath, the loose pink sweater she dawned falling off her shoulder slightly. Ken found it hard to think around her, he couldn't understand it. He had so much he wanted to say, to tell her how beautiful she was even if she didn't think so. He always saw her reading fashion magazines, telling Yukari and Fuuka about how she wished she could be as nice looking as the models in them. Ken wished he could find a way to tell her, even show her...that she was the most wonderful thing he had ever seen. But every time he thought he had found the words, he glanced _up_ at her, their height difference silencing him as he realized he really was _just a kid_. Less than her, in build, in strength, in experience. He could tell her how beautiful she was, but what would it mean, coming from him? Just a simple, offhanded compliment, he was sure. But he meant it as much more, he meant it as the warm feeling that festered in his chest when he watched her laugh, when he watched her fight and scream and smile. But 'children' aren't capable of these feelings...apparently. No matter how much older Minako made Ken feel, his confidence didn't seem to age along with him. So he kept quiet.

Minako watched Ken as they walked, taking in every inch of his small frame. The way he wore his orange jacket bunched up around his neck, the way he walked a little pidgeon-toed and especially the way his brown eyes always looked slightly sad, even the rest of his features tried to tell you otherwise. She traced every contour of his face, every freckle, his jawline, and the bags beneath his doe-like eyes. She burned them into memory, closed her eyes just to be sure they were still there behind the lids. No one understood her the way Ken did. Usually when she spoke to people, her responses were limited and awkward...she always felt like she wasn't cut out for friendships and bonds. Sometimes she only reached out to people because the idea of strengthening her Personas pushed her to try.

But with Ken...

She could care less about anything but the sheer fact that he listened to her, and she actually had things she wanted to say to those open ears. So much of her wanted to protect him, and so much of her wanted to love him, irrevocably and madly. But she looked _down_, noting the fact that no matter how old he seemed to her, she was still six years older than him. It felt like nothing to her, but she knew it bothered him, being a 'child', to her he wasn't a child, nor was he an adult. He was simply Amada Ken. She wished he could be okay just being him. That was all she would ever need, at least.

* * *

"You said it was a nice day, but the sun isn't even out!" Ken remarked playfully, gesturing to the sky.

"Oh, but that's what makes it a nice day. You can look right up, and don't even have to squint. The sky seems so vast and endless and beautiful when it's grey. It makes me feel small, but I like that. I don't know, I don't think I'm making much sense, ignore me!" Minako smiled and laid back into the grass, absent-mindedly plucking strands out as she watched the swirling grey above her.

"Minako-san..." Ken didn't know what to say. She would always say these things, these outstanding things that seem so ordinary and offhand to her. They throw Ken for a loop and he's left with no words to say, as usual.

Minako turned on her side so she was facing Ken, their breathing and the chirping of birds the only sounds in the deserted park. She watched his eyes carefully, staring into them for some kind of words he couldn't speak.

"Ken, is something on your mind? Your eyes seem distant and sad and I just want you to know you can tell me anything...if you want. You always listen to me, and I need you to know that I'll listen to you to. You're someone very important to me." Her voice cracked as she reached the end of her sentence, feeling vulnerable and desperate.

A pale blush crept across his cheeks as he mulled over the word 'important'. He was someone important to her.

"My words don't come out right when I'm with you. It feels better just to listen to you; I never know exactly what to say..."

"Ken, you don't have to know what to say, just say what you feel. Sometimes that's more honest than knowing, and thinking about it."

"I just don't want to seem..."

"You'll never seem like more than who you are to me, okay? Who you are to me will never change."

Ken turned scarlet, his heart hammering in his chest. He had never felt so cared about in his life, so reassured...he didn't have to try to be anything else. She liked him how he was.

"And what am I? You know...t-to you?'" Ken had to fight to keep his eyes open, being somewhat afraid of the response her facial expression would give him.

"Ken. You are...someone very important to me." And with that, Minako bounced up, grabbed Ken's hand and pulled him to the swings.

* * *

**AN: Thank you to anyone reading this! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, the second is almost complete! I have lots of ideas for this story, but feedback via reviews would be really helpful for me. I'd appreciate them!**


	2. Childish

Ken was laying on the floor of his bedroom, his nose buried in the latest volume of Featherman R. He knew it wasn't the most mature thing to do, and probably not the best use of his time when there was training and studying to be done...but occasionally it was nice to do something childish. He could never tell anyone else how much he loved it though, he worked too hard to be mature and respected to ruin it by exposing his love of shonen manga. He had to be strong, and strong adults don't read manga. He was sure of it. But in private, alone...he could break down his facade a little bit. He didn't have to hide his emotions, he didn't have to keep it hidden how badly he needed a break from the act he tried so hard to put on around the dorm.

Fighting in Tartarus was terrifying, exhausting, and he still didn't think he was strong or brave enough to be an asset to SEES. When he saw how confident and assured Minako was in her leadership abilities, it made Ken feel like he could never compare, and all of his training was for naught. In the end, they all had things they were fighting for...and they all added up to the ultimate goal of defeating Nyx. But what was he fighting for, exactly?

"Knocky-knooooock, Ken-kun!"

Ken was positive he jumped ten feet in the air when he heard that song like voice.

"M-Minako-san! One second, okay?!"

Ken tried to hide his manga as quickly as he could, but Minako being her usual impatient self opened the unlocked door and peered inside as Ken stood petrified, stacks of manga in his arms.

"I-I said ONE SECOND!"

Minako smirked, though she seemed slightly put off by Ken's attitude.

"It had been about ten by the time I came in, so really, I did listen to you!"

She stuck her tongue out and stretched out across his floor, patting down the spot beside her where Ken had been sitting moments before.

"Aren't you...going to ask what I'm holding?"

"OH, FEATHERMAN R! I love that series! Remember last weeks episode where Hawk planted that missile guidance system, but then the switch fell into enemy hands, so Swan proposed a battle of riddles?!" Minako's face was positively beaming as she smiled at Ken expectedly.

Ken couldn't form a reply. Minako wasn't supposed to like manga, she was an adult. She was supposed to like...adult things. Like non-fiction novels and the news.

"You...read manga? You watch anime? But Minako..." Ken's voice wavered, and sounded as if he were slightly angry with her.

"Well of course I do...what's wrong with that? They're fun, Ken!"

"I don't like this stuff, okay? That's childish! How could you openly admit to liking something so obviously meant for kids? Don't you have any self respect?! Don't you appreciate your age?!"

His manga dropped to the ground with a disheartening thud as Ken realized his outburst. Instead of facing his problems like an adult would, he ran. Ken was good at running. He ran from anything that upset him because learning how to face problems was painful, and Ken had dealt with enough pain to last him longer than he cared to feel it. He had tried to be himself for just a few minutes, and even tried to justify it to himself. He's trying to escape his childish ways, and giving in to stupid temptations isn't going to help. Sweets and comics are useless.

* * *

_Childish._

"I'm childish. I'm not changing. I'm not becoming stronger at all."

Ken leaned his forehead against the light post outside of the dorms, whispering what he knew to be the truth to rotting wood.

Minako stood in the doorway, his words falling on her ears painfully.

Ken's internal struggle broke her heart, broke her resolve, and crushed any chance she had at not falling for him. When she thought of all the things he found wrong with himself, his age, his strength, his hobbies. . .she realized how special all of those things were in regards to who Ken was. No matter what any of them were, they were a part of him, and no matter how hard she tried, she could never find the ways to make him understand how beautiful he was just being himself.

For once in Minako's life, words really did escape her. She always told herself how badly she wanted to protect Ken, but how could she do that, if she can't even find a way to comfort him, to assure him he's special? She's tried before, to tell him he was okay the way he was. He believes her for a second, but then her words are smashed by all of his mountains of twisted ideas about adulthood and true strength.

No matter what she said, she could never break through his perception of who he needs to be. That didn't mean she wouldn't keep trying.

Ken felt arms wrap around him, and a cheek press against his. Suddenly he was pulled to the ground, the arms bringing him closer until he was practically in the lap of the person behind him.

There was the scent. Minako. Why was she so close, holding him this way? This wasn't fair of her, especially not the way he was feeling right now. . .how could she choose now of all times to tempt him with something he could never have? Her.

He felt her breath on the nape of his neck, uneven and ragged like she was choking back tears.

He had upset her. He had upset her with his childish behavior and she had come to punish him with her warm touch and inviting scent. What cruel punishment.

"I don't need you to take pity on me. You don't have to spend time with me because you feel sorry for me, okay?" Ken shook in her arms with anger, not wanting to stand up but not wanting to stay with her any longer. He just upsets her, yet she continues to waste her time on him. He knows he's a child, and he acts more like one than any other child he's met. So why can't she admit it and move on?

"Ken, I told you. You're someone important to me, I'm not going to-"

"Not going to what? Leave me? You will eventually, and it's because someone like me can't protect anyone!" His voice was desperate and whiny, he sounded so much more his age when he let his emotions out. Minako smiled despite herself, lacing her fingers through his.

"I'm not going to leave you. Especially not when I know you're struggling. We all are, but that doesn't mean you can't open up. We'd all understand. I would understand, Ken."

The way she spoke his name so seriously made Ken shiver, afraid to turn around and see the stern look on her face. She continued.

"You think I spend time with you because I pity you? I spend time with you because, well, it seemed like you cared about what I had to say. When I'm with you, I feel like I can be myself. Maybe that sounds stupid or cliche, or maybe you think it's a lie because I 'pity' you. It's true. I'm glad you came to this dorm Ken, I'm glad you joined SEES and most of all I'm glad to simply know you. I guess that's not really good enough, when I can't even help you to feel something other than pain."

Ken had hardly ever heard Minako speak so seriously. He remained silent, still shivering in her embrace, feeling foolish and cowardly. She made so much more sense than he did, she was so much more rational...

"When you're ready to talk, you know where I am, okay?" Her grip on him tightened, then slowly, her fingers left the warmth of his hand, and her arms slipped away.

He should have said something. He should have been kind to her in the first place when she came in, she just wanted to see him. Yet he still had to act the way he did.

He wasn't sure when he'd be able to face her again, maybe when he was able to actually face himself for what he was and accept it. That's what she would want. Yet as he heard her small feet move across the pavement, up the stairs and into the dorm...he felt like he was losing her in more ways than one.


End file.
